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First Date Advice, Help and Tips

How You Can Avoid Ruining a First Date

A first date when you meet someone through an online dating service isn't like a traditional first date. It isn't, in effect a blind date. The reason why it isn't a blind date is because you should by that stage already feel that you know the other person pretty well.

Of course you can never know someone online as well as you would know someone in the offline world. People seem to only present one side of themselves online, or perhaps the side they want you to see. Offline it is much harder for people to conceal their true selves.

However, in a first date with someone you have met online, you already have a head start and the words 'blind date' don't come into the equation.

By then you will have been chatting online for a while and, naturally, exchanging emails. You should also have had lengthy phone conversations. This is important because you can tell much about a person by talking to him or her on the phone. Don't however judge someone's looks by their voice - you can't learn very much by how someone's voice-type sounds on the phone. However, you should be able to find out if the other person is who they say they are as well as what their background is by holding a phone conversation. Once you feel that you know the person pretty well you should be ready for the first date.

But feeling ready for the first date doesn't mean you shouldn't be overlooking safety. Despite all your hard work getting to know someone online they could still turn out to be different from expected on the first date.

For example, have you only been given a cell phone number or a place of work number? This could suggest that the other person is not single and unattached. Perhaps you're not yet ready for that first date.

But if you are ready for the first date here are some guidelines to help smooth the way and make you both feel less awkward.

For the first date agree to meet in a public place that is both well-lit and where there will be lots of people around - a basic safety measure. Also familiarize yourself with the area beforehand. Where is the nearest policestation, for example. To worry about such things may even seem a little extreme, however it costs you nothing to cover yourself in this way and you never know when you will be glad you did.

Before you go on the first date arrange with a friend to have them call you on your cell phone a few minutes after the meeting is to take place. Apart from other safety issues this gives you the chance to opt out of the date early on if things are going really badly.

Aim to spend most of the first date in a dimly-lit location so that you can both concentrate on what the other is saying rather than their appearance.

Keep the first date on the short side. Look upon it as a try out date. If you don't hit it off, you and your date will both be uncomfortable if the date still has several hours to run. But there is always the second date if you do hit it off.

On a more general note, one of the most important pieces of advice you can use when going on a first date - all else being well - is to be yourself. If you don't start off on the right foot with someone, if you are not honest and genuine with them, then the relationship isn't going to go far, is it?

Honesty - or rather dishonesty - is certainly up at the top of the reasons why relationships don't last. Presumably you are going on a first date because you do want a relationship that lasts longer than that first date? Then you have to begin in the right way.






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Before the First Date: Advice:

When emailing someone you don't yet know it's wise to take care. On no account reveal your phone number or home address. Use the communication channel set up by the dating service and follow its instructions and rules carefully. Some people may not have the same reasons for using the dating service as you do.

Please note that just as with our dating services and other artciles, first date advice on this page is for those over 18 years of age. Also please note that all our dating advice is just that, advice, and in reading it you accept that you are responsible for your own actions.

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