How To Approach Women: Are Tips On Picking Up Women Really Any Use?
By Henry Speldings (c) 2012. Commissioned by and Exclusive to NOT for use elsewhere.

My ideas on this page follow naturally from the tips I gave on how to approach women at Approaching Women Tips, a How To. I now have some more to share with you on this topic that is so important to so many men everywhere.

Let’s be clear to begin with, what we are talking about here is walking up to women in the real world and engaging them in conversation in an attempt to hit it off with them and ask them out on a date. Of course this element of dating behaviour can be virtually removed by taking your approach to women at specially designated places online called Online Dating Sites…! :-)

Would you like to know which are the best places to meet women? Top of the list for me has to be Meet Women at More singles, a better quality site, your personal details safe – what more could you want?

Going back to the subject of offline dating again, since this is the topic of our attention, when you think about it the approach to the woman part of meeting girls should actually be a lot easier than many find it. What I mean is that the situation is already set up for you, most of the time.

If you are at a night club or similar venue where men meet women and you walk up to a woman who is a stranger and start talking to her then she’s not likely to think “This guy is going to ask me for directions to get to the next town!” now is she…? The situation where a guy of marriageable age (for want of a more suitable term, bear with me on this) and who is clearly on his own or with other men of his age, then approaches a woman of similar age is not a situation that can be easily misunderstood. The woman is going to expect that he will try to ‘chat her up’ or ‘pick her up’ (depending upon what part of the world you come from).

If you change these parameters a little then the degree of certainty that this is a ‘pick-up situation’ diminishes but does not disappear altogether. For example, if the guy approaches the girl in a supermarket then their age and gender still plays a role in defining the situation as one of a potential pick up/ chat up, but the location removes some degree of certainty. He might be only interested in finding the cereals aisle, for example.

You can play with this idea further. Change the ages of each character in our little scenario. Make the man 25 and the woman 45. Now when he approaches her the question of why he is doing so will be much less obvious in the woman’s mind. She is virtually old enough to be his mother. If this is a supermarket then in all likelihood he really does want to know where the cereal aisle is. If he then tries to hit on her/chat her up she is likely to be surprised, even though older-women-younger-men relationships are becoming more common.

Take the scenario yet a stage further and stretch the parameters more by making the genders the same… You can go on and on with this idea, but you get my point by now, I’m sure: the aspects of the situation which are in-built make it much easier for the guy than it would otherwise be. So if a girl rejects you when you approach her it seems most likely that she doesn’t like the look of you, harsh though that may sound. Still, it’s better not to waste your time on a situation that isn’t going anywhere!

More Advice on Picking Up Women

The process of making an approach to a woman in the hope of getting to know here and dating her should not really need to be reduced to a set of “techniques”. Women are human beings as well (surprise, surprise) so if you are trying to connect with people, regardless of gender then you must find a way to relate to them and discover something in common. This applies to all human relationships.

If you can’t do that then no end of ‘techniques’ are going to help you much. Sure, they will take you so far, but neither of you will feel that you are really getting to know the other if your relationship is based on pick-up techniques. Look for things in common, shared interests and in the areas where these are weaker (as they will be in places no matter how much 2 people have in common) take an interest in what the other likes. You can actually develop an interest in somebody else’s interests if you already have some things in common with them.

Copyright Henry Speldings and Stephanie Constantina (c) 2012. All rights reserved. Exclusive to and strictly NOT for use elsewhere.

“The best place to meet women is online. But where online exactly? Let me tell you about my preferred site…”
(writes Henry Speldings) “The site is Approach Women at More singles, less pressure, a better quality site, your personal details safe – what more could you need?”

Henry would be delighted if you would bookmark this how to approach women page and send its web address to your friends (and we would like it too).

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