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On The First Date You Need to Make a Good Impression

Or Why Becoming a Good Dating Prospect Is Like Selling A House

We all know that first impressions can be deceiving. Probably, like me, you've experienced mixed impressions of someone new to your place of work, only to find that a few months later you think of the person concerned in a completely different light. He or she doesn't seem like the same person at all!

However, we don't always get what amounts to a second chance like this. Certainly in dating there are few second chances. If you don't like someone on the first date you're unlikely to choose to go on a further date with that someone.

Where this situation can differ is if you get to know someone in a group of friends or at college or on vacation, to give some examples. In such an instance there is time for your initial dislikes to be overcome by later 'discoveries' -- for want of a better term -- about the person that change your view of them. You might call it 'warming to someone'.

However, with first dates you don't have that luxury, you have to make a good impression first time around.

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Not everyone appreciates that making a good impression counts for so much. Also, the first impression someone has of you is unlikely to be when you meet face to face. The advice on this page is about dating, but because the principles involved relate to so many aspects of life here is an example from a different area.

I was once selling a house and the real estate agent produced an appallingly bad set of peroperty particulars to hand out to prospective buyers. The photos used made the property appear of about half its actual value and the layout of the particulars was incredibly poor, making the whole exercise pointless. When I tackled the agent he told me "Oh, the particulars don't matter, don't worry about it."

Don't matter! The house particulars are the property's first impression and if it's not a good one then nobody is going to enquire any further. Needless to say I ditched that agent for a better one pronto.

So it is with dating. The quivalent of property particulars in the dating world is your online profile. You have to make an effort to get your dating profile right if it is to 'sell' you as a good datable prospect.

Can we take further this analogy between selling a property and selling yourself as a good dating prospect? Houses are sometimes described as having 'kerb appeal'. This means that you get a good first impression of them from the roadside before you even enter the property. So it has to be with your personal appearance and how you present your personality at the outset of the first date. Smile, make eye-contact, step forward and greet her. Ask if she found the place alright, or if she had a good journey, or if she managed to avoid the rain. Show concern for her well-being in -- at this early stage -- a generally considerate way. You don't know her yet, after all, but you must come across as a nice person, concerned about others. You are that, after all, so why not project it? This matters whether you are a man or a woman.

If you can find a shared sense of humor then you are off to a great start on that first date and to making it lead to a second one. But if you don't like the lady or if you are a lady and you don't like the man then you can still be polite and subtle in how you avoid a second date. That's what they call 'having class'.

Dating, whether online or offline, is competitive, so you do have to learn how to present yourself in the best possible light and so how to make the best first impression possible.

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